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Caregiver Myth Busters: #1 – It's Not Just a Woman's Job

  • Writer: Mark Fukae
    Mark Fukae
  • 5 minutes ago
  • 4 min read

Caregiver Myth Busters Series: "Caregiving is primarily a women's issue, so men don't need support"
Caregiver Myth Busters Series: "Caregiving is primarily a women's issue, so men don't need support"

By Mark Fukae, Director of Advocacy for Professionals Who Care


Series: Caregiver Myth Busters #1


Welcome to Caregiver Myth Busters, where we tackle the pervasive misconceptions that often obscure the realities of caregiving in America. As a male caregiver myself, I understand firsthand the complexities and profound impact of this role. I am fortunate to be able to work, yet like countless others, I am often stymied and impaired by the current culture and societal barriers that undervalue the unpaid work of caregiving. My drive for policy change stems from this lived experience, advocating for the protection and support of all caregivers who dedicate themselves to this vital work, most often without pay.


Today, we're taking aim at a deeply ingrained belief that directly impacts who gets support and how we value care in our society.


The Myth:


"Caregiving is primarily a woman's issue, so men don't need support."

This myth—deeply rooted in historical gender roles—suggests that caregiving is inherently “women’s work” (a nurturing, domestic responsibility that naturally falls to female family members). It implies that men, if they assume caregiving roles, are the exception or somehow less in need of support.


The Truth:


While women still bear the majority of caregiving responsibilities, over 40% of caregivers are men, and their numbers are steadily growing [5,6]. This isn’t just a statistical update; it’s a profound shift that challenges outdated societal structures and demands a re-evaluation of how we perceive and support all caregivers.


The Evolving Face of Caregiving: Beyond Traditional Roles


For generations, societal expectations placed women squarely in the role of primary caregiver—whether for children, aging parents, or ill spouses—often at the expense of career progression, financial stability, and personal well-being. (See “Hidden Truths #3” regarding women in the workforce.)

However, the landscape is changing rapidly. More men are stepping into caregiving roles. Recent research shows a steady rise in male spousal caregivers from 2002 to 2018 [2]. While men’s caregiving tasks are often categorized as secondary or instrumental, their growing presence challenges the stereotype that caregiving is solely “women’s work” [2]. This shift is driven by several factors:

  • Demographic Shifts: Dual-income households are increasingly common, which means caregiving responsibilities are more often shared.

  • Changing Family Structures: Men are becoming more involved as parents, and as populations age, male spouses and sons are stepping into primary caregiving roles.

  • Economic Necessity: In some situations, the male partner is the only one available (or able) to assume the care role—especially when the female partner’s income is essential.

Despite facing challenges similar to their female counterparts—such as time loss, financial strain, identity shifts, and impacts on physical and mental health—male caregivers frequently struggle with less societal recognition and fewer tailored support systems. In addition, men in caregiving roles may experience distinct physiological challenges (including increases in blood pressure, unfavorable changes in lipid profiles, and elevated stress hormone levels), which signal a critical need for tailored assistance [3]. They also encounter unique stigmas—feeling pressure to embody stoicism or hesitating to see caregiving as “masculine” work.


Busting the Myth, Building Partnership: A Riane Eisler Perspective


The persistence of the “caregiving is a woman’s issue” myth directly reflects what cultural historian Riane Eisler identifies as a “dominator” model of society. In this model, traits and roles traditionally associated with women—such as nurturing, care, and interdependence—are devalued, rendered invisible, and kept within the private, unpaid sphere [4]. This framework reinforces hierarchies where “productive” (often male-coded, paid) labor is prioritized above essential “re-productive” (caregiving) labor.

By perpetuating the notion that caregiving is primarily a women’s burden, society effectively:

  • Undervalues the Work Itself: Work labeled as “women’s work” is often seen as less important or less deserving of public support.

  • Creates a Double Bind for Women: Women are expected to perform this essential labor without receiving adequate support or compensation.

  • Isolates Male Caregivers: Men stepping into caregiving roles may find themselves without peer support networks or resources tailored to their unique challenges, simply because the prevailing narrative overlooks them.

Riane Eisler’s work on partnership societies offers a powerful alternative. In a partnership model, caregiving is regarded as a fundamental human responsibility and a valued societal contribution—regardless of gender. It recognizes nurturing as a universal human capacity essential for societal well-being.

To move toward a true partnership society, we must actively dismantle the myth that caregiving is gender-specific. We must create policies and workplace cultures that support all caregivers—men and women alike—and fully acknowledge the immense value they provide both at home and in the workforce.

Imagine if more male caregivers also became legislators. Their firsthand experience—whether it’s managing doctor’s appointments during lunch breaks, stretching family finances to cover care costs, or struggling to secure adequate home support—would infuse policy discussions with vital lived realities. They would advocate not only from empathy but from deep personal understanding, normalizing caregiving as a universal experience and a bipartisan issue. Such representation would be transformative—directly challenging outdated norms and accelerating the creation of equitable, comprehensive caregiver support legislation for everyone. Ultimately, this shift isn’t just about individual equity; it’s about building a more resilient, compassionate, and economically stable society for all.


Your Voice Is Needed: Be Part of the Solution!


Busting myths is only the first step; we must translate awareness into action. Every caregiver, regardless of gender, deserves recognition and support.

Resources

  1. Cha, H., & Ailshire, J. (2024).   Male Spousal Caregivers Are on the Rise but They Provide Mostly Secondary, Instrumental, and Low-Intensity Care. Innovation in Aging.

  2. Adler, K. A., Patterson, T. L., & Grant, I. (2002).   Physiological Challenges Associated with Caregiving Among Men. In B. J. Kramer & E. H. Thompson (Eds.), Men as Caregivers: Theory, Research, and Service Implications (pp. 127–150). Springer Publishing Company.

  3. Eisler, R. T. (1987).   The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future. Harper & Row.

  4. U.S. Unpaid Caregiver Statistics: Demographic Data. (2023).   A Place for Mom.

  5. Family Caregiver Annual Report and Statistics. (2025).   SeniorLiving.org..

 
 
 
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